Last night, I felt frustrated with myself. My sister so sweetly made dinner for us all, and she and my brother-in-law cleaned up the whole kitchen, but Norah pooped and it sprayed up her whole back so I had to throw her (and Peyton) in the bath right before dinner, and then she was fussy and tired at dinner, so when Andy walked in the door at 6:45 after a full afternoon with the kids in Khayelitsha and sat down to begin work for the busy day he has with ministry today, I started hinting for him to help me with Norah, dinner clean up, etc. The kitchen was covered with food, the babies were fussy, and I was hectic. After I put Norah to bed, I thought how much I wish I could keep up with cleaning, and how I need to be more on top of things with having dinner ready for Andy. If I can't keep up even with my sister's help, how am I going to keep up when it's just me? And I was reminded of my desires to create a peaceful home and to be an efficient homemaker, and how terribly short I was falling.
I have come to a couple conclusions. One, life has been crazy over the past few months. It's been good and full, but also very busy. As we continue to settle here, I need to be home more so I can be more relaxed, and have more time to keep up with the important things that go into making home. Secondly, I read this this morning, at the beautifully inspiring blog of Ann Voskamp. I breathed a sigh of relief as I read and identified with her feelings. She emphasized the same theme of my blog - looking for the unseen things in daily life. She talks about the season of life as a mom where productivity is almost exclusively in the unseen, in things like rocking your baby, changing her diapers, or feeding her breakfast. I can't describe this near as beautifully as she does, so please read her post and be encouraged as I was.
I do want to improve in making myself and my home peaceful and prepared. Especially so I can free my husband up for the things he needs to do. I can do practical things like just being at home more, preparing dinner earlier in the day when Norah isn't fussy, and implementing systems for housework. But I also am going to accept God's grace for me today as a mom of an infant, and I'm going to enjoy this season I'm in. The season of not being able to deep clean my house, cook gourmet foods, or have everything together. Because hand in hand with that goes smelling a baby's hair, cuddling at bedtime, and falling into bed exhausted after a sweet, full, crazy day of laughing and playing with and holding my girl. And this season doesn't last forever.
6 comments:
So funny... it stuck with me as well, that same notion. Invest in things unseen.
It's hard, for me, when the house is a mess, to relax or spend "face time" with Jaron. Yet that is what really matters most.
Invest is things unseen. The rewards is far greater, and the outcome is far more important.
I love you Leigh. You are a GREAT wife and fabulous mother. And it is okay to ask Andy to get off his butt and help!!! :) (since I'm his sister I can say that!)
Wow, Leigh, you have no idea how much I needed to read this right now. It's been one of those weeks where I fall into bed at the end of the day utterly exhausted, and without a shred of evidence I did anything other than lay on the couch eating bon bons and watching soaps. I'm very glad to know that once again, I am not alone in my struggles!! I wish I could write more, but I've got a helper trying to write this comment with me so I'll leave it at that for now!!
thanks everybody for relating to me - and hope you were encouraged too! just a disclaimer, I didn't mean to make this post sound like my husband doesn't help me, because he actually does a whole lot! (a lot more actually now that we have a baby) it's more just my own frustration at my expectations for myself and how I wish I measured up more! I know all you moms can relate...
I smile while reading your post and know how blessed your daughter and husband are to have you in their lives. I'm learning the more seasoned I become that the things I use to think mundane are really the most important. Just to sit and hold my babies and pray over them was what God asked of me. Things may not get done that the eyes can see, but the heart is healthy and the soul is satisfied. You are doing an awesome job sweetie and you are prayed for daily!! I love my daughters and thankful you are in our lives!!
Hi Leigh :) Was thinking about you and Claire after we chatted at church and wondered whether your stories were somewhere online...and they are! Thinking about you lots in your last days with Claire and Bryan here... and looking forward to spending time together after they have gone. From the little bit I've read on your blog I'm really looking forward to chatting! Lots of love, hope the rest of the week is good, Karen
How true this is, stay encouraged! Knowing that what you do is important and that you are where God wants you as a wife and mother!
Sometimes being a homemaker does seem OVERWHELMING and just not enough time in the day, but looking at it from this perspective is great, it's just getting a clearer purpose for where you are right now :)
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